Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
