Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
