I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
pray to the hookup gods
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize