Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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