Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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