dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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