If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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