If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So squirting runs in the family.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
