why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
