I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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