I hate your face
love makes seman taste better
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I understand Curling. That high.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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