Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
