I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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