If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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