so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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