I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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