i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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