I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
