can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
