she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
