What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
