google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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