Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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