dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
