He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
