I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
