Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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