he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
