i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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