that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
