You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
