i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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