I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
