I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
