I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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