So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
