I intend to get homeless drunk
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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