there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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