even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
