ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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