Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
