Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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