I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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