Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
