she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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