Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
