Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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