Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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