You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Randomize
