i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
