I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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