She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
