around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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