I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
