We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Im part way to drunk.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
