True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
